I’m sure you have lots of memories from when you were growing up, stuck at the dinner table with a plate of gross broccoli, and your parents said, “There are starving kids in Africa who would love that broccoli.” Maybe you’ve said it to your own kids.
I get the heart of it. Be thankful for what you have, not everyone is as fortunate. But maybe there’s a better way to discuss issues of poverty with our kids instead of guilt tripping them at the dinner table.
7 Tools for Talking to your Kids about Poverty
“The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”
1. It starts with the parents.
The best place to start is with yourself. What do YOU believe about world poverty? What is your role in the issue? What do you believe about homelessness and orphan care? How do you discuss these issues with your friends and family?
While we like to create “teachable moments”, the truth is that kids learn so much simply from the way you talk about things in your day-to-day life.
Decide on the issues and causes that are close to your heart, and make empowered choices to address those issues and lend a hand. That’s one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children.
2. Don’t force it.
Let conversations around poverty come up organically. If your kids spend any time at all outside the home, they’re sure to see homeless people on the streets or panhandlers on the side of the road. Maybe they see sad stories on the news. When they’re old enough to notice and ask questions, take the time to really engage with them. Take time at the dinner table or in the car to have meaningful conversations about poverty.
3. Frame it with hope, not fear.
Many of us were taught to see marginalized people through a lens of fear. Unfortunately we were moved away from compassion and action because we were taught to avoid messy things. You can change this story for your children by teaching them to see all people through a lens of hope and love. Teach them to ask Jesus how he feels about these people. His desire for them is GOOD, all the time. His desire is for the people of God to reach out and meet the marginalized right where they are. That’s what he did, right?
Even though these people might have stories of suffering, mistakes, and trials, Jesus sees their future as overflowing with hope.
4. Don’t just talk about the problem.
Leaving your kids with gigantic problems far bigger than themselves will only leave them feeling overwhelmed and powerless. Look for stories of the Gospel spreading, of children being fed, and villages being strengthened by the power of Jesus. Share stories of transformation. It will instill in your kids a deep trust in the power of God to transform even the messiest of situations. Talk about people who have decided to be a force for good, and how the church is growing all over the world. There is hope to be found, you just have to look for it!
5. Foster a culture of empathy and compassion.
Show your children that as followers of Jesus, we rejoice with those who rejoice, and we mourn with those who mourn (Rom. 12:15). When tragic events happen around the world and in our own backyard, it’s okay to let them in on the story, and process sadness with them. Create an environment where they can ask questions, process grief, and become an active part of the solution.
6. Don’t use poverty to manipulate good behavior.
The “starving kids in Africa” line might work once or twice to get your kids to finish their dinner, but it will leave them feeling guilty, confused, and disempowered. It results in associating poverty with shame, instead of hope. It is crucial to foster thankfulness in the lives of your children, but don’t do it at the expense of suffering people. It helps no one.
7. Empower them to make powerful decisions.
Bottom line: nobody is powerless when it comes to issues of poverty! We all have a role to play, and we can all be conduits of hope. Help your children to be a part of the solution, instead of just obsessing about the problem. Brainstorm with them and come up with some ways to support people in need. Take THEIR ideas and help them bring them to reality! Help them collect donated clothes for the homeless, set up a lemonade stand to make money for hurricane victims, or help them sponsor a child. When you hear stories of devastation, let your first reaction be to contribute, and let your kids in on that conversation. When they grow up feeling like they have a place in the story, they will never feel powerless.
The truth is, your kids might live a more privileged life than most of the world. If they have a bed to sleep on and access to three meals a day, they absolutely do. That’s the story they were born into. That doesn’t mean we have to feel guilty about our situation or distance ourselves from people who are different. As followers of Jesus, we are intricately connected to one another, and the suffering kids in Africa and homeless people on the street are our own brothers and sisters. You’re part of their story, and they should be a part of yours.
Helpful questions to ask your kids:
- “Can you think of some good ways that you (our family and friends, etc.) could help people in poverty?”
- “What do you think those people need?”
- “If you had access to unlimited resources, what would you do?”
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